Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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