Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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