He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
