just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
