The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
