I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Life is so much better after having sex.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
