eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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