Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
