I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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