I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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