We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Randomize
