i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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