stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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