Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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