It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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