so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
