He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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