i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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