i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
