BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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