ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
