we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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