he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
