It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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