I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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