I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
