I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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