You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
