WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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