girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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