Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
