the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
