Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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