just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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