Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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