i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
