oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
