You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
home. puking in laundry basket.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
