Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
