he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
