I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
