Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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