well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
