the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
