She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
