no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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