I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
