I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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