these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
