There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
