I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
