Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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