so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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